Bangkok Bdsm Dominatrix Jaa4u >> Deep Impact – In My Heart
I missed the Tsunami in Phuket by two weeks … i was there 14 days before i went back to Canada and then to Panama. In Panama i met somebody … he saw a different style Tsunami. This time i will not be so lucky like before because for sure the Tsunami coming will hit me … but i hope i learned from him how to have a brave heart for that.
Why because a bigger wave is coming only for me … and i cannot tell you everything about it … but it is 100% exactly … just exactly like this in the movie Deep Impact …
And actually only you have to watch first 15 seconds …. and then from here for when the wave will hit the beach.
So if you know the wave is coming for you … 1 min 27 seconds … can i stand like him … and be strong? Hold what is most important in his arm … and die like that … braveheart? We say glaa jai.
Deep Impact … mean the hurt is deep and hit hard. What i know now … i never know before is a heart can have a maximum level like maximum water i can put in a glass. But if the heart is full of water like that … full of sad it start to hurt and the body start to hurt and get weak … and i am like that now.
I cancelled my sessions for two more weeks in January.
I am sorry … i know this is hi season and i have a lot … like a lot of emails to ask me for a session. I said no to everybody today because i need time.
And no it is not because like before i give too much blood at the hospital to help … and not because low iron … actually i have about 1000 pill somebody bought me for Iron pill and i take that. It is a shock to me you know … my blood is 100% normal but my body is 100% broken. I get dizzy. I fall down.
Also i am sure i am not sick. I have too many problem in my life and one big problem is coming like the tsunami i show you and i cannot get out from it. So what i am trying to do now … i try to stand like he in the video and look at the wave and be ok with what will happen.
Can i tell you something?
When i was in Panama ok … i had a bodyguard. Yup true. In my book if you want to know why … for what … how … everything like that just read it when i put it on my blog this month.
I had a dinner with him … most crazy dinner i have in my life because i sit with him this huge bodyguard … and my bf from before …. and one thing i want to ask him so much is why always he has a gun with him. Ok so at the place … small restaurant ok … he take the gun and put it on the table beside the rice he order. Like a cowboy movie or something.
This is how i know Noriega … from what he tell to me. He work for him like security close to him and had family … wife and 1 son in Panama and good life for him. But everything change for him. Why because the new government come after the usa come to fight. And from that his life and his family had a big danger … if he stay he say he will die for sure. So he look at me and i can see sad in his eye he tell me what happen … he start to talk about the helicopter come at night and so quiet like a snake coming to eat you.
Same night he run from Panama … run from his family … and why the world is so small sometimes you know … he stay almost the same road i stay in Canada. How i know is we talk about the Sobey market where i had to walk for food … he work beside there where the food come from the farm and they put that on the truck at night. His job for how long? 6 years.
He never have a chance to talk with his family often and he lose his son really because everything change about his son when he had a time to go back finally to Panama. Same time i talk with him this man ok … he is so big and so strong like a giant i can see his heart broken same time he try to say the story. Funny about that you know … he apologize 100 times because he try to talk and tell the story in English and i love it because that English i can understand only because he talk basic like that so i loved it lol.
In my heart ok … he is the same man in the video when the wave is coming and he is brave.
But really he was broken. I can see that in his heart … in his eye when he tell me the story from his life. Not because his job … his job was so important before and now his job is to be bodyguard to me lol … if he go from bodyguard for Noriega to be bodyguard for me … you can think how much his job went down a lot 
Not because money because he had a lot of money working for him … to little bit of money in Canada … to enough money to stay ok in his country finally.
No his heart was broken for his son … for his wife. His wife died when the USA attack. His son 10 i think so he saw him again 16 probably … he never say goodbye to his wife and never say goodbye to his son.
I think often about him. Like my hero you know? I think sometimes you meet somebody like that for a reason … what reason? See sometime you don’t know what reason … but 8 years after you see the reason finally. I see him in my brain not like he was … broken inside … i see him so brave to look at the wave and not be scared.
That is the deep impact i think he gave to me to be strong for what will come soon.