Bangkok Bdsm Dominatrix Jaa4u >> Pay It Forward
“Do you get many men paying you for doing nothing?”
My client in Phuket asked me that … after the session start to fail and i stay in my room often by myself because i had 2 days before i have a chance to fly go back to Bangkok. I am thinking a lot about that … i don’t like when i have a bad session … but sometimes i have it and i have to talk about what i think.
Answer is … yes. A lot do. But i don’t think for ‘nothing’ i think they do for ‘something’ … ‘something different’. Ok i have to explain because i think that is very important you understand.
I think the world is horrible. Horrible because we don’t trust anybody. Really my session in Phuket was ok … ok until i think somebody talked to my client and told him i was bad … cannot trust me … and everything changed after that. Example ok … if i am alone in a hotel to do something maybe get something or i want to be alone … and you come to check me what i am doing. I know you do that because somebody told you if i am alone in the room i will steal something.
And i say … if i did not steal 12 million baht after somebody gave that to me … for sure i don’t steal a watch or camera or 1000 baht … something small like that. Actually in my life i never 1 time stole anything. I trust myself never to do something like that. So i think you will trust me too and… you broke the trust what happens? I cannot stay with somebody who cannot understand trust.
Trust has to be that … 100% only. 99% no cannot. For me 99 is the same as 0. My relationship starts 100% and if something happens and we go to 99 … better we just go to 0 and go away from each other. Done. Finished. Just like that.
Unfortunately he saw my mood broken … so he saw 0%. For 2 days. And i feel bad about that now for 2 weeks.
But go around come around.
Now i have to go to the airport and see a client … no i never met him before. No photo. No mobile number. No plane number. Cannot email him for 4 days because …
‘Please don’t forget that I cannot read and/or reply your emails until we meet face-to-face, so I cannot discuss the points above with you but it’s necessary that you follow them.’
So no way to talk to him. Only thing i can do is go to the airport and wait 4 hour for somebody to see me and come say hello. Welcome to i will feel like a idiot if i go and nobody comes. Because last time i went to wait for somebody and i don’t know his number his name his plane number his room number … i waited 1 hour at Conrad hotel 3 years ago … and put in My Offer page ‘never again’ that will happen to me.
So why tonight? Why do i go? Because trust 
Trust and 50 amazing nice emails from him. I like to meet people different in the world .. special people … and i think if he is same personality like he talk to me in his email … ya he is super special heart inside him. Or … he hates me and this is a joke.
That is my heart i want to trust people so much. I don’t understand why people have to lie. I don’t understand why people have to cheat. I don’t understand why the world is like that. He asked me everything so private so personal in his email … of course i answer to him everything true.
Now in my taxi going there … raining now too so i have to leave early … i feel doubt inside. Like i am doing something and you can see i am doing something stupid … but i cannot … until now. Think ok … i have to stand there alone by myself and wait for … who? What does he look like? No idea.
I have a photo of his cat … wonderful … if he takes his cat i will know exactly he is who when i see his cat.
No mobile i cannot call him. And no email? Just now i think ok this is the world … my house in Chiang Mai is far from the road far from everything and i can have internet. In the jungle in South Africa … i had internet. In the boat on the ocean and i go to Koh Tao … i had internet. So where is he he cannot have internet for 4 days?
So why i am trusting him? Because he talk about my son … and that is so close to my heart now i am so lonely without him … i think nobody can talk about that and not go to see me…
“You told me that your son will be in Chiang Mai with your mother from Tuesday 13th August, so I decided to bought a ticket plane for you from Bangkok to Chiang Mai for go to see your son and spend time with him. The ticket plane is only for you, not for me.”
Why would somebody do something so nice like that?
I am thinking … because i share my heart to him from only knowing him in email and never meet him yet. He ask me a lot … everything personal and i answer everything the most i can …
“Do you remember what was your last reply from the email “About U”?
You said that “” enough is when i have enough to give back to who needs money more than me … and i can still be comfortable … not rich … comfortable…. i want that for my life “”
I was so happy of your way of thinking because at that time I knew that you could understand what I am doing.”
A lot of things i talked about Natty often and me and where i go … why i have to go there … what i have to do … what i think. Especially i think … why i cancel somebody else and not him i keep him in my calendar even if i put “Not Working” for 3 weeks this month. …
“The fact that you kept my booking session without knowing all the information of this email is important. Of course you have your own reasons to have kept my session, but I know there are things that happen in the life that go beyond what we conscientiously know.”
I think from email i can have a feeling who i talk to and who is he … what he is thinking … he talks from his heart or from his mouth only? Why i do that … ok for safety for sure … but more really. I look for a good person in the world. I have him in my calendar because … trust. I have trust for him. I want to believe him. I want to know.
If you want to understand that … you have to see the movie Pay It Forward … this is like that movie. And if he is true … he pay me forward like that … i have to give my heart to somebody soon. Because this is real. This is i think what we can be. You me everybody. We can be amazing like this and help everybody.
So i am stupid to go see him or what? I don’t know i will see soon. I feel stupid lol. Closer i am to the airport more stupid i feel actually. Now stop in traffic for a long time so i am the same stupid as 15 minutes ago lol.
And about Mr Phuket … “do you get many men paying you for doing nothing?” i answer yes because he said to me also …
“In all the cases, you will have all the Thai Baht I have in my pocket. So no worries for you about the session and the money.”
Watch ok … he will have 10,000 euro in his pocket … and 20 baht :><
OK if he comes? I have to say no to the ticket Why because if i go i have no money to come back only by bus. Yup i am broke like that. So that will break his heart or what? I hope not.
Almost at the airport now.
Time to go wait by myself for 3 hours. Or 1 hour. Or 1 minute. I have no idea what time his plane comes. All i know is my next session somebody will get something super special … or i will kick him in the balls.
But for sure I will Pay it Forward. How exactly i will Pay it Forward depends the next 3 hours lol.